I will never leave you

​I was blessed by today’s Bible reading about Elijah and Elisha. It was time for Elijah to be taken up, and Elisha knew. So did the prophets who stood by the Jordan River. 

Each time Elijah told Elisha, "God is calling me to go here," and each time, Elisha would not leave him. Each time the prophets told Elisha his master would be leaving him, and each time Elisha asked them not to be quiet about it. 

I see the desperation in Elisha, who would not leave Elijah’s side, as he knows the time is drawing near for Elijah to leave. 

Then Elijah said to Elisha, “Stay here, for the Lord has told me to go to the Jordan River.” But again Elisha replied, “As surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, I will never leave you.” So they went on together.  2 Kings 2:6 NLT

I also see prophets who know God, but from a distance it seems. Not with that desperation or desire to have more of his spirit in their lives, like Elijah had. 

Fifty men from the group of prophets also went and watched from a distance as Elijah and Elisha stopped beside the Jordan River.   2 Kings 2:7 NLT

They didn’t have the longing Elisha had, to have a double portion of the spirit of God. It challenges me to see there is more than one type of believer today as well. Those who long to have God's Spirit within them, a double portion, to know God more deeply, as deeply as they possibly can, and those who are content to know God and watch from a distance. Not knowing Him, with nothing between their soul and the Saviour, content to hear from God from time to time, to be used by God, but not having that inner deep connection. 

May each of us strive, press on to know Him more! To have a double portion of His spirit within us, to have nothing between our soul and our Saviour! That nothing would hinder us from knowing Him more each day. That we would be close to Him here on earth, with such pure devotion, a reverent love, walking with Him and talking with Him, every moment of every day. That we would never, ever leave Him, but strive each day to be with Him. Amen.

A Longing

​Sometimes I go through seasons where I believe the Lord is teaching me, something very important. Then I’m truly encouraged, refreshed, and thankful. Then suddenly, it’s as though I’ve been taken to that wilderness with Jesus, to be tempted by the devil. I’m thankful for His Words that He taught me comes to mind, but the battle is real, the lies seem so “true”, but they’re trying to get me away from the “one thing needful” that He has been trying to teach me. Then a godly man reminded me, the most important things often seem so small, and underestimated. It’s true. And thankfully His word was confirmed, and while it is still not easy, I see how much more important that “one needful thing is” than trying to do all the “good” one hundred and one things the devil is trying to get me to do is useless, without doing that one most important thing.

I was encouraged by the same story in the Bible that had made me confused, longing to know if I was doing what God wanted me to do. The story of the man who was given one talent, and who then hid it, because he knew his master was a hard man. I was focusing on the “talent”. What did He want me to do? What if I am not doing what He wants with my gifts, and I’m burying them in the dirt? I longed to do what He wants me to do, but it seems so foggy, what is it? Then, the Lord encouraged me. I was focusing on his talent and not his attitude. It’s the heart attitude, I needed to focus on instead. He wasn’t seeking to please his master, he didn’t care about his master, instead he enjoyed his life, while burying what was his masters. He wasn’t longing to do something, anything, for his master, for he saw him as a hard man. He didn’t seek to please him. Then, I was encouraged. What a difference it is to look at the heart! Am I seeking to please Him in my day to day life? Maybe I cannot do what the man with ten talents can do, for I have just one talent, but is my heart right, seeking to please the Lord in my home life, in secret, where no one else can see? Am I longing to be close to Him, and please Him with even the small things? 

I was reminded a few weeks ago about how the devil is also seeking to distract us from our simple, pure devotion to Jesus. He whispers in our ears that we should be helping in this ministry, or with that, like the other sisters around us are, thus causing us to be discouraged when we don’t get to do the things they get to do for the church. I kept seeking to renew my mind in this area, and continued to find it a constant battle. The devil then kept trying to convince me that there was “no place for me” in this body, that I couldn’t do anything. These lies seemed to be so real; they seemed so convincing, for all the other sisters around me had something to do, and I had nothing. I often felt as though they were even helping me when I was sick or weak, and I wasn’t able to do anything for them in return. This made me so sad to think of. Yet I’m thankful for the Lord's constant reminder to keep renewing my mind. Again, a battle, not easy, but by His grace He helped me and encouraged me and strengthened me! He encouraged me again about the one thing needful: to sit at Jesus' feet and listen. To pray. To maintain that pure, reverent devotion to Jesus. To grow in my deep love for Him, and obey Him in the mundane, everyday life areas, where no one else sees. To be faithful in secret. To keep praying in secret. These little things are so important, but are very underestimated. When I was reminded afresh this week after the wilderness season, I was so thankful for this much-needed
reminder. We need to be reminded of these things, not just once, twice, three times, but daily even! That not one of us would cool off in our devotion to Jesus. I know I need to be reminded often, and I’m so thankful for a body that can spur each other on to loving Jesus more and being faithful in the hidden life. Longing to know Jesus more, to obey Him, to be close to Him, to never cool off in our fervent devotion to Him. 

By His grace, He will help us. Praise God.

An Important Appointment

​it’s been a while. Too long. 

It’s time though, to get back into writing, and listening. Reflecting. Not forgetting what I’ve heard, but doing it. 

I believe taking time to write down what the Lord speaks to me helps me to grow. To remember what He speaks to me, so it doesn’t just float in one ear and spiral out the next. 

I’ve decided to challenge myself to write again on my journey of surrender. What the Lord speaks, and to prayerfully ask for grace along the way so He might transform me more into His likeness in each of these areas in which I fall short.

And if anyone stumbles upon this, may you be blessed and enriched as you seek to follow the Lord also. For nothing happens by accident. 

Today, as I lay down, sick. Weak. I was reminded of what I once heard years ago by a fellow sister in Christ, “Disappointments are His appointments.” And being sick right now has been, well, let’s say “several” disappointments. And it is an important appointment for me, to be lying here, weak and not able to do all the millions of things I want to do. For it is here alone that I can have this very important appointment. It is here I can quietly reflect on years past, and all the things the Lord has been trying to speak to me and I’ve been too busy trying to make sense of everything. Too busy trying to do something for Him, trying to serve, trying to be a blessing. 

All my efforts are in vain, when I am not listening. For today, the Lord truly encouraged me with Jesus and his baptism. How he went to John, who didn’t think it “made sense” that Jesus was baptized by him. Here too I am encouraged that He has been asking me to do what I don’t think “makes sense”. To walk by faith, things won’t make sense, I won’t be able to understand or see clearly here but walk in faith without seeing and trusting that He knows. He sees. It is enough to me that He knows. He cares more than I could ever understand.